Sacred

"You only learn something when you're listening."

I've heard this line from a friend many times. At first, I perceived it as judgment. As I thought about it, it might have felt kinder and softer to her to say this than to say, "You're talking too much." More recently, I have come to realize it was a message from God. Next time, I could ask, "Tell me more about that?" Next time, I could come prepared to ask questions that reveal I care about her heart and her world. Next time, I could pray for this person and ask God to show me what might be going on with this person.

How I respond to their words and hearts lets them know I genuinely love and value them. When they are talking, my body language communicates that I am listening. I can ask them about the subject they are sharing and the impact it is having on them, rather than changing the subject, offering my own ideas or opinions, acting disinterested, or thinking about what I want to say next.

When someone isn't sharing their heart with me and says they are "fine", do I accept it at face value? Is that easier to bear than to ask questions that could lead to a deeper subject?

I spent a few days with a good friend. While we were together, she talked a lot. I started praying when it became excessive because I was worried about her. It didn't seem she wanted to allow me to talk. Later, I considered a different perspective: "What is going on with her"? Was she hurting, angry, annoyed, depressed, or something else?

It is a sacred place to listen to another person's heart, which makes it essential for the Lord to guide the interaction. I will pray that the Lord helps me stay fully present when someone is speaking — not pulled away by distractions, my own thoughts, or the urge to plan my response. I will ask Him to guard my heart from stepping into fixing or rescuing, and instead to help me simply be with the other person. I need to ask Him to keep my heart open and calm, and to keep the environment safe. When I allow the conversation to unfold naturally rather than forcing depth or direction, it often leads to a more genuine and meaningful connection. My response to them lets them know I have heard them and that God and I love them.

When someone is hurting or struggling, these moments are crucial. I will invite the Spirit to help me understand not just the words being spoken, but also what is happening beneath them — their emotions, their pain, and their hopes. I need to pray that the Lord fill me with peace and self-control. It's not my role to fix or rescue the other person, but I do want them to know I care and that I will be praying for them.

As I listen, I will trust that the Holy Spirit will give me the correct response — or the wisdom to stay silent — so that my presence reflects His love rather than my need to solve.